Project Restoration
by coffeevixen84
Summary: Completed. When they've all gone separate ways and the many hurts run deep, how'd can they overcome the tensions and restore what they've all lost?
1. we don't know where we're going

CHANGE:

Fez didn't like change. At all. Unless "change" directly involved suddenly having an abundance of candy, it was a bad idea.Maybe he was being a tad dramatic, he could get that way sometimes, butchange seemed to be all that was happening right now. Change after change after change. He hated that Eric was in Africa. And he really hated that Kelso had moved to Chicago. And he really, really hated that twerp Randy who was always in his seat or taking Donna to movies or coming up with ridiculous, illegal, old-Hyde-like schemes. Granted, Randy wasn't really a bad guy necessarily. He could be funny, though not as often as he thought he was, and at times he could even be downright helpful. But all in all, he wasn't a part of the _Group_. So Fez didn't like him, and he made no attempt to hide it.

When he was being honest Fez realized part of it had to do with jealousy. He remembered when he was the new guy, wandering in to an already assembled group of four. Four kids who had definite chemistry and a shared childhood full of inside jokes. Eric, Donna, Kelso, Hyde. They had a history together. And he had had to earn his place in their circle,had towork toupgrade from the foreign kid who amused them and tagged alongto their _friend_. And he suspected Jackie felt the same. It took time for her to be included in her own right and not just as Kelso's annoying ball and chain. It wasn't an abruptcoincidence that the Four became the Six. And here was this Randy guy, new to the basement and yet acting as if he'd been there all along. And Fez really hated that Hyde and Donna just seem to let him.

But he wasn't really surprised. With two vital links in the chain missing, and with a variety of other stresses getting in the way, the Group was rusting and crumbling and the basement was often eerily quiet. Eyes glued to aTV show that didn't interest any them, just because they had nothing to say to each other. He missed the laughing and joking that seemed to be a constant part of their old routine. He missed hearing Kelso shout, "Burn!" He missed Eric talking with his hands whipping around wildly as if trying to land a plane. He missed Donna's frequent goofy "I'm in love with a dork" smile. And Gosh, he even missed Jackie on Hyde's lap with her tongue down his throat because he hadn't seen either of them happy in months. He didn't know how they'd all fallen apart so fast, but he knew he had to stop it. Because like it or not, they were all that he had. And it was too late to change that now.

ORDER:

Jackie liked order. It was why she had always done her homework on Saturdays, kept her Nancy Drew books shelved in sequence, and pushed for her boyfriends to commit to her plans. And it was evident as she looked at the way she packed her weekend bag. Her clothes were folded neatly, packed by outfits, and labled for a specific day or occasion. Her suitcase reflected the order she craved.

The long weekend to visit Kelso had been Fez's idea. The poor guy had been on edge lately, and it was downright scary really. He'd been writing Eric more and more frequently, and calling Kelso more and more often, and that had been fine, but when he'd started throwing frequent tantrums in the basement, that's when Jackie had really started to notice. She smiled thinking of his latest explosion though, remembering Steven's shocked expression. It had been a few days before, Fez had arrived in the basement to find Randy in "his chair." Again. Rather than simply telling a usually flexible Randyto move, as wasthe usual tactic, Fez had begun ranting, full steam, about how the seating arrangements were sacred, representative ofthose who hadgrown up together, and he didn't care if Randy's hair was made of gold and silk and pixie dust he had no right to upset tradition. He'd continued on yelling well after Randy moved nervously to the couch. He ranted about how Hyde's chair was Hydes's chair, and how Donna belonged in the middle of the couch with Eric at her side, and how not to forget to leave space for Kelso for when he came back. And mid-rant as Steven's dumb-stripper-slut had bounced obliviously down the stairs and onto Hyde's lap, well Fez just turned to her and shouted for her to get her "unwanted skeazy ass off of Jackie's seat!" Samantha seemed confused, which Jackie found not to be too unusual, for the dumb blonde,but had moved off of Hyde all the same. And as Fez sat down to watch Charlie's Angels, he ignored all the eyes fixated on him in amazement. Jackie too was surprised by Fez's intensity, but she could appreciate anyone yelling at the half-witted Sam, and could appreciate Fez's attempt to maintain some order.

Coming out of her memory-daze, Jackie finished her packing and headed to the Forman's. When Fez had pitched the idea of a trip to Chicago to her, she'd agreed immediately.Then shehad asked Donna to go, genuinly hoping she would, but all the same expecting to hear, "Sorry, but I have to work at the station." When she had surprisedJackie with an "I'd love to," well,the petite brunettehad been ecstatic…up until the point when Donna had roped Hyde into coming too.They were borrowing the Vista Cruiser, for space purposes as well as for old time's sake, and she hoped the old station wagon was big enough to hide from the imminent drama. But she missed Michael, and the way they all used to justbe when they were together. And even if it meant spending two hours in a car with Steven, if she could feel like part of a group again, the Group again, it would be worth it. At this point Jackie would do just about anything not to feel so out of order.

SILENCE:

Hyde drove with his shaded eyes intent on the highway in front of him, relishing the silence. It was an awkward silence, he couldn't deny it, but an awkward silence was better than awkward conversation. And besidesSteven Hyde had always been the strong, silent type. It was both his blessing and his curse.

Take for example their departurenot a full20 minutes before from Point Place. Samantha had _graciously_ agreed to sit this trip out (surely having nothing to do with the pleasant notion of a car ride with Jackie), but as she said her goodbye he noticed her chest push out and her lip get pouty and suspected it was her way of trying to entice him to stay home too. He was certain that as her husband he should have done just that, or maybe at least said something sweet before leaving her behind for a weekend alone. But he stayed silent, only kissing her softly on the lips, quickly,before sliding in behind the wheel of the Cruiser.

They'd only been driving a little over a half hour when Jackie needed to use the restroom. Hyde's irritation was apparent as he pulled off into a rest stop, withtense shoulders anda glare he was sure she could feel even with his glasses on. But he still said nothing. Donna naturally got out to go with her, leaving him alone with Fez for more of the awkward quiet.

Until Fez dared to break the silence.

"I'm excited to see Kelso. Things really haven't been the same since he left." Hyde looked in the rearview mirror at his friend, but he didn't respond. He just nodded.

Fez continued.

"And I guess things have been really weird ever since Eric left for Africa."

Again, Hyde simply nodded. He was clingy to his silence.

"And if you think about it, things haven't really been good for any of us since you and Jackie broke up."

Silence, Silence.

Hyde continued to watch in the mirror as Fez braced himself for an explosion, but rather than get angry he watched as the girls headed backtowards the car and opened the doors to slip inside. He looked back another second at Fez's earnest face and he knew that this time he didn't need to nod.

He knew Fez was right, and his agreement was in his silence.

NERVOUS:

Nervous was one of the top 5 least favorite feelings for Donna Pinciotti. And that's exactly what she felt right now. Painfully nervous. Herbrain was fried thinking of what this weekend would bring, worrying, anticipating. She was still anxious each and every day hoping to hear from Eric, to hearthat he changed his mind and still loved her and was coming home.

And she was especially nervous about what was going on with Randy.

He liked her. She'd been Hot Donna long enough now to be able to tell. And she like him. Maybe. On that one she was guessing. But he wasn't Eric, and that weighed down on her shoulders like a sack of terrifying bricks. Eric was her soul mate...wasn't he?

So, she tried to concentrate on other things. Like her current task of navigating Hyde through the Chicago streets. And it thankfully required quite a bit of attention since Kelso's directions were about as clear as a brick wall.

She took a deep breath. Andshe focused on seeing her life long friend, whom she had truly missed since he'd left Point Place. Then she focused on the idea of spending time with Jackie, she felt likeshe'd been neglecting herlately. Finally, she focused on Fez's apparent need for re-bonding and for Hyde's even-more-than-usual quiet demeanor. She focused on anything and everything other than her own anxiety.

But as they pulled into the apartment complex, parked the car, and walked without a word to the door of apartment 19b, thepersistent nibbling in her stomach wouldn't go away. And Donna was almost too nervous to stand it.


	2. and we won't know until we get there

Project Restoration Chapter 2: And we won't know 'til we get there

Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who read, and especially those who reviewed, I genuinely appreciate the encouragement. I realize I've been forgetting a disclaimer. So in case you were wondering, **I don't own anything**. Though I'd certainly love having a Steven Hyde of my own, or a Danny Masterson for that matter, but that is entirely besides the point. Please keep giving feedback, if this starts to really suck I'd like someone to tell me, preferably in the nicest way possible, but regardless I just don't want to post something no one can read without cringing. Thanks again, and I hope you enjoy!

P.S. Does any one else really hate Randy? Just curious

FAMILY:

Sure, Michael Kelso loved his parents and his brother. They were blood, and that was sacred.

And naturally he loved and adored his daughter, and Brooke too. Having a child had given his life unexpected meaning and purpose, and he cherished his baby girl and her mother for the blessings they were.

However, if asked about his family, perhaps it was sad, but neither the image of the yearly Kelso Christmas Dinner nor the vision of a newborn Betsy came to mind. Rather, "family" always made him think of a rumpled photograph framed on his mantle, with a crease down the center from being folded often down to pocket-size, of 6 young friends in a basement. Each one making a silly face at the camera, laughter lighting up their eyes. That was what he thought of as Family.

And he never would have guessed he'd miss them so damn much. But he did. He missed Point Place and the Forman's basement so badly that Brooke had even bought him a puppy to cheer him up. (He deliberated for a time before naming the dog Prince, because after all Kelso was "the King".) But when Prince would fall asleep at night, no longer wanting to play, Kelso was still sad. He realized that this homesickness was mushy and sentimental, but deep down he was a sensitive guy. And that was probably a side effect of being so darn good looking.

They were going to be there soon. Fez had called right before they left and Kelso'd been an excited mess ever since. He felt like it was the Annual Kelso Renunion in Florida and Christmas and his birthday all rolled into one. He'd stocked his apartment's little kitchen with candy for Fez and snacks and Beer, and he'd even bought something "special" he was sure Hyde in particular would enjoy. And so he played with Prince and waited, impatiently, for his Family to arrive.

EXPECTATIONS:

Hyde wasn't comfortable when things were expected of him, he never responded well to the pressure. But he assuredly had no trouble expecting from other people. It was a double standard, he was well aware, but like with so many other things, he just didn't care.

Looking back, he had no problems rationalizing his pursuit of Donna, even while knowing Forman had headed there first. It would have been silly for Eric to expect anything else of him. And when it came to Jackie, well he hadn't lost any sleep over how Kelso might take it, and he was sure Kelso knew better than to expect an apology from him either.

But when he saw Kelso, wrapped in a towel, the last time he'd been in Chicago, well he had been devastated. Hyde had expected something different; he'd expected something more from his friend and the girl that he loved. Because he _had_ loved Jackie, whether he said it often or not. And he had thought everyone knew that. Especially Jackie herself. And so even though they weren't together, even though she'd left and he had been too proud, too foolish to stop her, he'd expected her fidelity. He expected her to still be only his. Because he had _expected_ it all to be temporary. Apparently, he'd expected too much.

And that was all Steven Hyde could think of as he watched her hug her "Michael" hello – disappointed expectations. And as he too hugged his friend, though in a much manlier fashion of course, he now expected that this weekend would be harder on his heart than he originally thought.

BUTTERSCOTCH:

Donna loved Butterscotch. She always had. Hands down, no room for debate, move over chocolate,_ it _was her favorite. And maybe this was a tiny, seemingly insignificant detail, but it was part of who she was. And she knew that Michael Kelso knew that.

She didn't think that anything sweet ever lasted long enough around Fez for him to notice what anyone else liked; and Jackie stayed away from sugar, outside of Popsicles, for she had a figure to maintain, she probably didn't know. She was positive that Hyde had no idea what sundae topping she preferred, and she'd be willing to bet he really didn't care. And well she suspected Eric had no idea either, somehow he'd always felt his tongue down her throat qualified as dessert. But ever since her 8th birthday party, when she'd eaten almost an entire bag of butterscotch candies from her grandfather and gotten sick, Kelso had remembered they were her thing.

When he turned 10 he'd had his mom make a special sundae with butterscotch for her while everyone else's had fudge. And a few years back on a Valentine's Day when her and Eric were at an off phase, Kelso had sent her a valentine full of heart-shaped butterscotch toffies so she wouldn't be too sad.

And to Donna it was memories like those that were the beauty of having such a large, close-knit gang of friends. One was almost always there when you needed them. But as she went to get a few beers to ease the catching-up session out of Kelso's fridge, it had been a while since she had felt that security, and she feared they as a Group would never have it again.

But then she noticed a grocery list on the refrigerator door, held up by a Packers magnet. And she smiled as she read the slip of paper, each item written in Kelso's clumsy print, with a checkmark beside it.

Milk

Salt

Beer

Hot Dogs

Chips

Bread

Ice Cream

Cherries

Hot Fudge

Donna's Butterscotch

Tootsie Rolls

Toilet Paper

Doggie Treats

She suddenly felt a little hope that they'd all be okay, that they'd get it back somehow, whatever it was. He still remembered. And she still loved Butterscotch best, and she loved the friend she'd always had in Michael Kelso.

VAGUENESS:

For the master who had taught her Zen, the key had really been apathy. To Steven Hyde, the trick to establishing a stoney exterior was to deliberately not care as often as possible. But for Jackie, "grasshopper" and pupil, Zen had really come down to vagueness.

She was a passionate person, idealistic to a fault, and so for someone like her apathy was about as possible as flying cars, but if you kept things vague no one would know you cared. She had learned there was danger in details.

So when they had settled down in Michael's living room, and he turned to her with authentic interest and asked how she was, she answered, "Fine." It was safer than the more accurate, but terrifically less Zen response of, " So miserable and lonely I wish I could disappear."

And when Donna asked if she could get her a beer she had said, "Sure," rather than the, "Yes, dear God in heaven, I need to drink until I can no longer focus on Steven's every move," she heard inner-Jackie respond in her head.

If she was vague enough no one would know to what extent her heart was still broken. Behind replies like "Fine" and "Sure" she could hide how much she missed having Eric and Kelso around. If she couldn't stop caring, she could stop showing it. And no one would ever know the difference.

Unless they looked into her eyes.

Like Steven was doing right now.

And she hoped if he called her on it, she could remember to keep things vague.


	3. let's pray we stay together

Project Restoration Chapter 3: Let's pray we stay together

Author's Note: Thanks again to reviewers, I'm seriously so grateful. I'm at home for a few weeks for Christmas break and am loving writing inthe downtime. I've already filled an entire notebook with starts to a variety of fics (mostly Jackie and Hyde, but they are just so darn fun to write about). I think my growing obsession may be dangerous to my health and GPA, but oh well. Let me know what you think of this chapter, and as always, please enjoy.

Disclaimer: Still not mine…if they were it would be like Africa, what? Stripper, who?

SECRETS:

"Secrets don't make friends." Kelso had heard it often, and had to agree. In recent years he had grown to hate secrets. Secrets had ruined him and Jackie, partly because he had never been very good at keeping them and thus was always getting caught.

And he had learned from the Jackie and Hyde summer fling ordeal that secrets can hurt deeply and leave lingering wounds. And so he absolutely positively detested secrets, especially when he was the one left in the dark.

Yet he felt right now as if secrets were everywhere, swirling about his visiting friends, tainting the very air they breathed. He had a few specific ones he'd like to get to the bottom of.

Secret #1: Jackie was not fine. Sure, that's what she had said. But Kelso knew better. The talkative beauty he'd loved and lost almost too many times to count was seated on his couch, silent, and looking exhausted. She seemed to barely hear him as he told the story of Prince's first encounter with the mailman, complete with aphysical reenactment of the poor man running with the tiny, but persistent, dog attached to his heal. Her smile had said, "I'm happy to see you," but her expressive eyes looked anything but happy. And he couldn't help but worry. He wondered what on earth could have done this to his Jackie, but he realized the better question was probably who. Which lead directly to his thoughts on Secret #2.Hyde was acting strangely preoccupied, he had his paranoid face on and they had yet to touch the stash. Kelso was sure he'd said at least 6 unbelievably stupid or inappropriate things sincehis friends had arrived, but Hyde had yet to verbally burn him or frog his arm even once. Something was definitely up with Hyde, something big.

And Secret #3 was the worst. Every time he asked a question about Eric, Donna would evade it like a pro while the other 3 would just look down at their hands or feet, quiet. Fez had mentioned things were less than perfect back home, but as their phone conversations quickly turned to TV babes and fun things to do with firecrackers on a subway, he hadn't gotten to deep into the issues. But something wasoff with Donna, and apparently everyone but him was in on it. And boy did Kelso hate feeling out of the loop. Feeling as if he knew less than he should was a fact of life for Michael Kelso when it came to most things, he was aware it was a good thing indeed thathe was pretty. Butwhen it came to his friends he wanted to know everything. He would not tolerate secrets.

And that was his main motivation for asking if anyone else wanted another round of beers. Secrets were no match for the lip-loosening effects of alcohol.

CANDY:

Most people wouldn't have thought combining Tootsie Rolls and Milwaukee's best brew was a good idea. Yet Fez sat there, happily stuffing his mouth completely full of the sweet, soft chews, and then washing them down with a long gulp of beer. He'd swallow only to stuff more candy in his mouth and repeat the process all over again. Heliked the beer. It made his cheeks feel warm and magically seemed to lesson the tension in the room a bit. And the sweet taste of candy was something he could always count on to make him feel better. Sweet, sweet candy, the love of his life.

He used to think he could count on his friends for that too. Like when Donna pretended to be his girlfriend because Caroline was a psycho, or when the boys stuck by him in Canada when he temporarily thought he'd lost his green card and the threat of imprisonment was horrifyingly real.

But lately he had seen them all fail each other,and that didn't taste so sweet.

Donna had kept her break-up with Eric from them. What was that about? She hadn't told any of the Group, noteven Jackie who was supposed to be her best friend. Thethoughtleft a bitter taste in his mouth.

He heard Jackie cry herself to sleep most nights. The walls of the apartment were thin and he could hear her sobs well into the hours of twilight, just before dawn, when she'd finally fall, exhausted, into a restless sleep. Then she would wake only a few hours later, in time to make his breakfast. But she never asked for his comfort. And he never offered it. And he was ashamed that heknew her so well hecould sometimes finish her sentences, but he could no longer attempt to hug away her pain, if only for a minute.

And Hyde, well, he could have just tayed in Vegas for all the help he was being.

And Fez bit into another tootsie roll, expecting the taste of the candy to relieve him from just a second of his inner frustration and sadness. To his shock and dismay though,the sweet taste was suddenly sickening. And for the first time in his life he didn't want any more candy.

And hesighed. Maybe he couldn't count on anything anymore.

CIRCLES:

They were a group based on circles. They drank beer in circles. They smoked pot in circles. And since they had hung out in the same place with the same people everyday for years and years, it often felt like they talked in circles. So Hyde was generally a fan of circles. But as he looked across from him at Jackie sitting cross-legged on the floor, downing the last of her beer with a familiarity that scared him, he saw dark circles under her gorgeous jewel-like eyes and his heart broke all over again. She still wasn't sleeping.

Cycles were circles. They went around without end. And her and Michael had always worked within a cycle. They were making out, he was cheating, they were fighting, she was crying, they were breaking up, he was chasing, she was caving, they were making out. When Kelso and Donna returned from California and Jackie had stayed with him, Hyde had hoped he had finally broken the cycle.In his heart he wishedhe hadstopped that circle from spiraling out of control. But then she slipped. She calledKelso her boyfriend. And even as they made up, as Jackie claimed she loved him again and again, his confidence waned. And soon he went to bed with a nurse because the circle hadn't been broken, he hadjust become apart of the cycle. So what if she hadn't really cheated. So what if she had really loved him. Who was he to compete with geometry? From then on it was always just a matter of time. And so in this case, he hated circles.

But as they sat around now, he heard Kelso telling a story about a street musician he'd met last week who'd tried to teach him to break dance. The story ended with Kelso on his back, attempting to spin in a circle without getting rug burn. He failed. They all laughed.

And Hyde looked at Jackie and she smiled back at him, one of her smiles that could light up a room. And for a moment, a split second really, everything felt normal. Like it always had before. Kelso was laughing at himself but whining that his back hurt. Fez was drunk and giggling, tootsie roll smeared around his mouth. Donna was laughing while saying something about "the King." And his eyes were locked on Jackie. And hers were on him.

But then the moment passed. The tension returned.

And not even another beer had any promise of relief.

And not long after they settled in the smoke-filled circle, with Hyde desperately hoping they could get that moment back.

SISTERHOOD:

Donna didn't know what to make of the night. There had been times when Kelso was being so silly that they had all laughed like the last few months hadn't happened. And when Fez got the hiccups from the beer, well Hyde's sense of humor rose from the dead and he mockedthe smaller bi-lingual friend,leading them all into a round of "Burns", just like old times.

But then the laughter would die down. And they'd look around. And this wasn't the basement. And Eric's absence wasn't just because he was helping Kitty unload groceries or something. And there would be a few moments, or 20, when everyone just drank their beer and hoped the silence would break soon.

And one by one the boys fell asleep, leaving her and Jackie to talk into the night. And she thought back to all thetimes they'd stayed up talking when they'd lived together, talking about Hyde and Kelso and Eric. About the futures they both hoped to have. About family and loss and love and regret.

That was why Jackie was her best friend. Because sure they had their differences, sure they could bicker and fight and shout lumberjack and midget all night. But they could also talk about anything. And somewhere through it all, though exactly when Donna couldn't place, Jackie had gone from Kelso's bitchy girlfriend to a confidant, a sister.

But she'd been a horrible "sister" lately. She knew Jackie wasn't taking things with Hyde and Sam well. And Donna couldn't blame her. In fact Donna wasn't sure she herself wouldn't have been doing far worse in that situation. She also knew that she had hurt Jackie by becoming friends with Sam. And that when she had neglected to tell everyone but Randy about Eric, it had been a slap in the face to her best friend. Donna knew and Donna felt guilty. But that's the great thing about sisters. They're permanent. No matter what, a sister is a sister. And anything can be forgiven. Or at least she hoped so.

So Donna did her best, despite her intoxicated state, to bridge the gap that had been growing between them.

"Jackie?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think things will ever feel right again?"

The look Jackie gave her seemed to be say she was surprised by the serious turn in conversation. But she answered anyway. "I certainly hope so. Cause this is downright miserable."

Donna nodded."You know, I was going to tell you about Eric eventually."

"I know, I just hurt at the idea that you didn'twant me for support. Or need me.I feel like I've been leaning on you for years."

Donna smiled. Jackie had changed so much, the princess she'd first known would have never confessed to needing anyone else. "Do you ever feel like we aren't like normal friends?"

Jackie laughed. "All the time. I'm convinced we're more like-"

"Sisters?"

"Yeah."

"Me too." Donna smiled. She still didn't know about the boys, but she and Jackie were gonna be just fine.

SLEEPLESS:

Jackie hadn't slept more than a few hours a night since Mrs. Forman opened the door to reveal the surprising Mrs. Steven Hyde. Sleeping more than that would lead to nightmares, terrible dreams where she'd have to watch her Steven marry and make love to that horrible wretch and they would laugh at her as they watched her cry. She knew it wasn't healthy, and it wasn't helping her looks either. But if she couldn't even escape the loneliness in her sleep than she'd rather go without it.

So after Donna finally conked out, and the boys had been asleep for hours, Jackie remained awake, if not alert, in the quiet and unfamiliar apartment. She was happy her and Donna had gotten a chance to talk, their brief conversation had covered much more than what was said aloud, and it resulted in her feeling better than she had in quite some time.

But she was still lonely. Without love, without purpose. And the shallow girl who had thought being pretty was enough simply didn't exist anymore.

But as she looked around the room, dark save for the light spilling in from the kitchen, she couldn't help but smile. She knew for a fact they all felt the distance. Hell, you could have filled a canyon with all the uncomfortable silence that had plagued the car ride there. But Jackie watched as in their sleep, all hurt was forgiven, all pain forgotten. Kelso had fallen asleep on the couch, his long legs curled curiouslytight into the fetal position, leaving enough room for Donna to lean a pillow against his legs before falling asleep too. Fez was asleep on the floor, slouched where he had sat in front of Kelso, Hyde's coat as a blanket from when Steven had noticedtheir friend shivering in his sleep. And Hyde himself slept a few feet away, laying with Prince curled at his side, his shades removed for the first time that day. And to Jackie they didn't look like people struggling to save their friendships, they didn't look like they had grown apart at all. They slept like they had never been anything but close andconnected. And she was afraid if she closed her eyes for a moment, she would miss it.

So Jackie went without sleep yet again, but she felt this night it was for a far better reason.


	4. cause we are all we've got

Project Restoration Chapter 4: 'Cause we're all we've got

Author's Note: All of you who have commented, you are all amazing and wonderful. And you rock my world. Seriously. I love writing but I'm always so nervous about sharing my work, its the "they're all gonna laugh at you" syndrome. But you all make it so much easier to write and post quickly with your encouragement. I've decided there will be ten chapters, so if you have any headings you'd like a particular character to reflect on let me know! Thanks again, and I hope you like this Chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own the show or the characters, or sadly the wardrobe. Hyde's band t-shirts rock. It's hard not to look sexy with Zeppelin across your chest. And long live tight jeans. Okay I'll stop now, but I'm convinced I was born about 20 years too late.

BACON:

Hyde expertly dodged that splatter as the bacon hissed and sizzled in the frying pan. He hadn't had to cook in a while, but it was kinda like riding a bike or falling off a log or something. He'd woken up earlier than usual, his stomach grumbling hungrily. He heard the shower running, and taking a quick scan he realized it must have been Jackie as everyone else still seemed to be sleeping soundly. Knowing Jackie's showers could last seemingly for hours, he had decided if he couldn't be clean he could at least be fed. And that was how he found himself scavenging through Kelso's kitchen, making a nice, big Saturday breakfast for his friends.

He realized last night hadn't been the miracle quick fix they'd all hoped for. He wasn't surprised that things had been awkward and slow going, but that didn't mean he had to like it. So he thought the breakfast might be a nice ice breaker for day two.

On Saturdays Mrs. Forman always made a big breakfast, with eggs and ham and sausage and toast and bacon. And how he loved that bacon. And the way its smell, warm and salty, always seemed to linger in the house well into the afternoon. Somehow, after living with the Formans for the past few years, bacon was the smell of home. And he hoped that everyone would understand the gesture.

As Kelso returned from a walk with Prince and Jackie emerged, her hair still wet, from the bathroom, Donna and Fez started to come out of their slumber at the strong smell of breakfast invading the apartment. Before he had even finished the scrambled eggs, Hyde found he had four friends seated at the kitchen table, mouths almost watering at the sight of the feast he had prepared. Finally placing the skillet on the table, he sat down next to Kelso and watched as they all dug in. He felt satisfied as they all filled their plates. And Hyde took a bite of his own bacon, content.

HOT SHOWER:

Jackie learned somewhere way back when Michael had cheated on her the first time that a hot shower could be a good friend. Sadly, a shower could not give you advice or accompany you to the mall. But a shower could listen to you without interruption or judgment. And wipe away your tears when you needed a good cry. And could envelope you in a hug of warm steam when life seemed too complicated and confusing to go on. She'd turned to her shower every time she'd had a fight with Michael, and she'd like to think it was part of how she'd gotten through all his cheating and running away.

But then came Steven, and he'd ruined the comfort of the Hot Shower. She was now reminded of him every time she stood, pounded by the warm beads of water.

Once when they'd been caught in a rain storm while going for a walk she'd gotten drenched to the bone and could not stop shaking. She ran as fast as she could, and it just made the wind whipping by her body cooler on her skin. She had never been so cold. As they got to the Pinciotti house Steven had been worried she'd catch pneumonia she was shivering so badly. Since no one was home he led her straight to the upstairs bathroom and turned on the shower, as hot as it would go. Testing it with his hand to make sure it wasn't going to scorch her, he then undressed her quickly, taking but a moment to unbutton her blouse and unhook her skirt. Underwear still on her, he'd picked up her tiny form and set her inside the shower. Swiftly removing everything but his boxers, he stood in the tub beside her and held her tightly too him as the hot water beat down on her shoulders, streaming down his arms, flowing around their legs. When she'd finally stopped shaking he'd kissed her on the forehead, and held her to him with all his might. Then he got out first, not even bothering to dry himself off, and held open a big, fluffy towel for her to step into. Wrapping her tightly to keep in the new found warmth, he kissed her on the forehead again, his lips lingering a bit longer this time. It had been one of the first times she'd thought to herself, "He must love me."

But he didn't love her anymore.

So she had taken nothing but cold showers since he'd left her in Chicago. She had been nothing but cold without him anyway.

But today, for some reason she could not quite describe, she had turned the shower to Hot, and let it get nice and warmed up before stepping in. She let the water fall on her, around her, warming her bones like they hadn't been in months. And when the memories flooded her, the thoughts of his gentle kiss and his loving concern, she let them. She stayed in that shower until the water began to lose its heat, until her skin began to wrinkle.

As she dried herself off and slipped the day's clothes out of her bag, she decided that a hot shower with even just the memory of Steven was better than any more cold showers all alone.

SUBTLETY:

Fez was usually pretty straightforward. Even with his innuendos more was flat out stated than implied. But just because he didn't normally exercise subtlety didn't mean he couldn't appreciate it.

Hyde's friendship was expressed in subtle ways, and Fez appreciated that.

Like how he had woken up that morning to find Hyde's coat as his makeshift blanket. He knew that it was a subtle way of saying, "we're still friends even if things are weird right now." Or how Hyde had made breakfast for all of them, Fez knew that was a subtle message too. Fez had learned from Hyde that to act with subtlety didn't negate any of the meaning of things, in fact often it was quite the opposite. When Hyde had shaved his beard for Jackie, well that had been worth at least a hundred of her I Love You's. He hadn't had to say it to show it, and somehow that made it mean more.

So as Fez and Donna washed and dried the dishes, and Jackie neatly put them away, it was a subtle way of thanking Hyde, not only for the meal, but for the vote of confidence in their group's friendship that was behind it. And Fez hoped his curly-haired friend could see that.

And as Fez silently gave Donna's hand a squeeze while she prepared to call Eric for the first time since the break up, he hoped she could see that was a subtle way of saying, "I'm here if you need me."

And he truly hoped Kelso could see that this entire trip to Chicago was not just a weekend vacation with some friends but in fact a subtle way of screaming, "We miss you! Come home, you son of a bitch!"

PHONE CALLS:

After a delicious breakfast, Donna was feeling great. The conversation had not lagged at all, and they all seemed genuinely happy to just be with each other and laughing again. Even Hyde and Jackie had kept from pointed insults and kept their burns to matters of scruffiness and being spoiled. And she thought she might have caught Hyde staring fondly and amused at her best friend as she discussed with her old self's enthusiasm all the shopping she could do here with Fez.

Now that everything had been cleaned, Kelso and Hyde had taken Prince to the park, and Jackie was laying down for a nap. Fez sat in the living room watching Kelso's small TV and Donna was struck with a sudden urge, really more like a need, to talk to Eric. She had asked Fez if he thought it was a good idea, and he had smiled and nodded. She knew Fez wished Forman would come home soon too. And after making sure the time in Africa was appropriate, and convincing herself that her and Eric would always be friends, if nothing more, she began to dial the number.

Her hands were shaking as she pressed each button down. Fez came over and squeezed her hand, and she was thankful for the reassurance. She smiled at him as he left the room to give her more privacy.

She heard a voice answer, and it took a second to find her own. "May I speak to Eric Forman, please?"

Politely, the line asked her to hold for just a moment.

Then came a man's, "hello." And she couldn't keep the instant smile off her face as she heard her Eric for the first time in weeks.

"Hey," she replied, sure he could hear her grinning.

And her heart melted at the excitement she heard in his voice as he realized it was her and began to ask a hundred questions all at once. Soon they were giggling over Eric's students comparing him to a gazelle and over the Clown-Stealing incident that had happened not too long ago. When after an hour, the funny stories and their consequent laughter subsided, Donna felt like she could bust with happiness as she heard him tell her with almost tangible sincerity, "Donna, I miss you."

"I miss you too."

"So this Randy guy, he treating you good." She smiled slightly, she could hear jealousy in his tone.

"Yeah, he's nice. Kinda thin and goofy, like I like 'em." She was relieved when he laughed.

"Donna, you know, I didn't mean that I didn't love you. Because I do. I think I always will. It's just, I just don't know how we can-, you know when we're-, I just… I don't want to hold you back." Donna's eyes were tearing. He'd said he still loved her. She'd process the rest in a minute, she just needed to relish the feeling. Okay. Now, what had he said about holding her back?

"Donna?"

"Oh, yeah?"

"I should go." She noticed how sad he seemed about it.

"Okay, I hope I didn't keep you from anything important, I just…we all miss you, and I wanted to hear your voice."

"I'll call you soon."

"Bye, Eric."

"Goodbye."

"Oh and Eric…"

"Yes?"

"I still love you too. Just so you know."

As she hung up she couldn't help but beam. Right now Phone Calls we're her favorite thing on Earth.

ASK:

If he wanted to know something, Kelso's best bet was to simply ask. He often wasn't bright enough to trick information out of anyone, or to deduce things based on the facts. So when he found himself seated in the Vista Cruiser on the way to the park, with Hyde at the wheel, he let curiosity take over. And he asked.

"So how's the married life?"

Hyde looked at him oddly. "Fine, I guess."

"Samantha still a stripper?"

"Yep."

"That still hot?"

Hyde smirked. "It's got its perks."

"Does that make up for the fact that you don't love her?"

Kelso couldn't believe that he had actually had the guts to ask that. But he really wanted to know.

"What do you mean, man?"

Oh, Kelso could not believe it. Hyde was playing dumb. Well for once Kelso could explain something to him. "You still love Jackie."

"Shut up, man." Hyde's tone had a warning quality that Kelso completely ignored. They had great eye doctors in Chicago.

"No. You do. I know you do, Hyde. I'm right there with you. I can tell what it looks like when a man loves Jackie Burkhardt because I see it every time I look in the mirror. But the difference between us is, she still loves you back. So I'm asking, why is it that you are the one who's married to someone else?"

Hyde didn't look at him. Hyde didn't say a word. Kelso watched his best friend's jaw clench slightly, and though he knew it was a bad idea, he decided to keep pushing.

"You see, Hyde, we're all in a bit of a funk. We'd been together for years, the whole group of us, doing the same thing every day. Sure we might have played a bit of musical partners and we might have taken some classes and worked some jobs, but ultimately day in and day out, there was the six of us, in the basement, and that was our world. And then Eric decided to go outside, to leave the basement for something bigger. And Jackie, didn't want to leave, but she had to, because being just a girlfriend in that basement got to be too small. And you left, and came back with reality at your heels in the form of a wife you barely knew. And everything was changing in big ways, and it was moving way too fast. And the basement didn't quite look the same and we all retreated to our own lives, I even retreated so far as Chicago. And now we're6 close friends who can't seem to talk to each other anymore. It's not that we don't want to, we still all care about each other and want things to go back to how they were. But yet the silence continues because somehow we got this crazy idea that you can never go home again, and that growing up sometimes means growing apart."

Hyde looked completely dumbfounded, throwing disbelieving glances at him. Kelso knew he had never talked like this before, and that Hyde was probably wondering what the hell he'd smoke to get this wise? But desperate times called for desperate measures, and when it came to his friends, Kelso wasn't as dumb as they thought.

"But the thing is, Hyde, that's bullshit. We can go home anytime we want to. We can grow up right along side each other, just like me, you, and Forman had been doing for like 10 years. All that needs to happen is for us all to look at each other and say, 'I'm here.' Well, I'm here. And I'm going to be here for life, so again I ask: Why are you still married to Sam?"


	5. if we're gonna go down

Project Restoration Chapter 5: And if we're gonna go down…

Author's Note: Thanks again to the reviewers, so many of you are so talented that the fact you keep reading my lil' fic blows my mind. I am sorry this update took a little longer than I expected, I spent quite a bit of time debating whether to include some Eric pieces. Ultimately I decided to put him in, hopefully no one will hate it. I'm hoping to get Chapter 6 written and up tonight too, in case any of you are night owls like me. I can't decide how I feel about this chapter, but it was all stuff I had to get out for plot purposes.I'll keep my fingers crossed that you like it. Enjoy!

Also, I'm relatively new still so can anyone enlighten me as to what a beta is? I read a lot of authors who reference them, and I have no clue as to what it means. You can all point and laugh at my ignorance, I'll try not to cry.

Disclaimer: Not Mine. Damn it.

FIRST DATES:

Donna knew that by acknowledging Randy during their earlier conversation, Eric was giving her his blessing. He loved her, but he had let her go, and now he was showing her their friendship would not suffer if she actedlike it and moved on. It was touching really. Sure, she hated that Eric had ended things. It tore at her soul to think for a second they would be losing all they had built together, all they shared. But she knew, though she again hated his means, Eric was doing what he did when he ran from their wedding: he was sacrificing the "them" for the good of "her." He wanted her to be happy, no matter the cost. And that was Eric's love. And feeling his love never not make her smile, even in this case as it also broke her heart.

But she decided she needed to take him up on the freedom he offered her. She suspected she'd hate it. That in the end it would only prove she would never love anyone like she loved the scrawny neighbor boy. But Randy made her laugh. And he had good taste in music. And they never ran out of conversation. And he was there, in Point Place, with no hints of leaving any time soon. So she concluded that she would find him when they got back and ask him out. On a date.

Her first date without Eric in years.

First dates were always special.

Every little thing on a first date felt life defining. Every look was charged with meaning. Every word was carefully selected. Every hair flip was symbolic. It was ridiculous really, but it's the way things were. And she was preparing to go through it one more time. She'd loved Eric so long she'd honestly thought she would never have a first date again.

While she made sandwiches for everyone's to eat later for lunch, she daydreamed a little about where Randy might take her, about what she would wear, about what they would say.

And she wondered if she'd let him kiss her goodnight.

And she pretended it didn't feel like betrayal.

And she told herself, no matter how much fun she had or how nice Randy would be, it wouldn't really matter. So that way, when Eric came back, they could go out on another first date.

And it would be her last.

PRIVACY:

Fez didn't believe in privacy. Not between friends. He found nothing wrong with his hiding out in Donna's closet or the tree outside Jackie's old bedroom. He felt that he wasn't out of line sitting in the basement when important conversations went down between couples.And he was certainly gladtoday when hecracked the door open a bit as he left the room for Donna's call to Eric. He had beenecstatic to hear them laugh together.

Because friends weren't like the familyhe got stuck with, his friends were people he had chosen to love, support, and care for. Andhe had every right to know the whole story of what he was getting himself into.

And besides there was no room left for much privacy when you had 5 best friends.

So he felt completely comfortable opening the door to Kelso's bedroom knowing Jackie was inside sleeping. And he felt completely justified when, seeing the tear stains on her cheeks, he gently wiped at where they had fallen as if to go back in time and take them away. And to Fez it was no invasion of privacy as he laid himself down on the bed beside her, looking at her beautiful face, and wrapping his arm around to softly rub her back. She wandered out of slumber at the contact, and her voice wasn't angry, only surprised as she asked what he was doing there.

"Hopefully, making my good friend Jackie feel a little less sad."

She smiled slightly at his answer, and snuggling in to him she closed her eyes once more to return to sleep. He kissed the top of her head before closing his own eyes.

In private, too often, his Jackie was shedding countless tears. In private, she stayed awake all night and stared vacantly all day, heartbroken and lonely. Too long had he let this go on, respecting her privacy.

And he decided in that instant, if it was privacy that allowed doors to close and left friends alone to cry behind them, wellthen privacy was his number one enemy.

LONGING:

Eric hung up the phone with Donna feeling like an emotional mess. She ended with "I love you" so he was stuck grinning so big it hurt. She'd implied she liked Randy so his chest was tight with jealousy, and that hurt far worse. And he could feel tears stinging at his eyes, and he bit his lip hard to try not to cry. But as he felt his lip begin to bleed, yet another hurt, he decided to hell with it, Red wasn't there, and he let himself sob because he missed her so badly.

He looked around the tiny room he stayed in. He really loved what he was doing. He taught 5 classes a day, middle-school aged children mostly. And they adored him. And the feeling was mutual. He'd spend a large portion of each day interacting with these amazing kids, who, even though grew up with suffering and chaos all around them, were not unlike he was at their age. They wanted to have fun. They couldn't wait to grow up. They loved their friends.

And when he was there, in the classroom, surrounded by them all, he was happy with the decision he made.

But later, alone in this tiny room. Neat and clean, but silent. He would long to be back in his town, in his house, in his basement. Sitting with an arm around Donna, watching the small TV. Or listening to Hyde and Jackie bicker. Or laughing at Fez as he scrounged for chocolate. Or mocking Kelso's Master Plans.

The longing would eat away at him in the middle of the night. Missing Donna so much he ached, and burned, and could not sit still. And he wondered if she missed him half as much.

Deep in the wild of Africa, surrounded by danger. If he didn't make it out alive it would not be disease or lions or the elements that killed him, if anything it would be the constant longing for home.

CHOICES:

Kelso returned with Hyde to find the living room empty. The kitchen too was vacant and still. And it wasn't until he went to change his shirt and wandered into his room that he found any signs of life in his apartment. On his bed, curled up together, were Jackie, Fez, and Donna, peacefully asleep. He smirked at them, Jackie curled up, face buried against Fez's chest. Donna lay on her side, back against Fez's, sharing the blanket. Kelso thought it just might have been the cutest thing he'd ever seen. And if had had a bigger bed, he'd have jumped in to cuddle and nap with them. He really loved his friends. He shut the door to his room as quietly as he could and returned to the kitchen where Hyde was helping himself to a beer.

He was glad they all felt so comfortable in his home. Except this wasn't a home. Or at least it hadn't beenuntil they'd shown up yesterday. And Kelso felt a hard choice coming on.

On his outing with Hyde, among the various of other serious and important topics they had discussed, he'd found out Donna's secret. And he was both mortified that Donna and Eric were over, and that he hadn't been there to offer his shoulder for one of his oldest friends to cry on. He hadn't been there then, and what if he was never there again? Kelso didn't like the idea of that at all.

But the idea of going back, while it would initially send warm fuzzy feelings all over his tall, and handsome, body, would ultimately leave him sad and disappointed in himself. What kind of father would he be if he moved back to Point Place? He couldn't help but answer, not a very good one.

Maybe he could drive down to Chicago every other weekend. Maybe Brooke could bring Betsy back to Wisconsin for Christmas and Easter and her birthday. But Kelso knew that wouldn't be enough. What if he missed it when she started walking. What if he wasn't there when she said "Daddy" the first time. Not to mention he would miss her. He still felt he didn't see her enough with her living only 10 minutes away.

He would never forgive himself if he left Chicago without her. But he'd never be happy if he stayed.

And he wondered, feeling stuck between choices, what it would take to convince Brooke that Point Place was great for raising babies.

ANSWERS:

Hyde sat at the kitchen table, third beer in hand, staring at the clock on the wall. She'd been gone for 20 minutes.

Not long after he and Kelso had gotten back the slumbering trio had started to stir. Donna came out jabbering about her conversation with Eric. Fez was gloating about sleeping sandwiched between two beautiful girls. Jackie had just looked nervously at him, and then quickly announced she was taking a walk and left.. And Hyde had been staring at the clock since. He knew she knew he wanted to talk to her. She was stalling. Smart girl.

After his interrogation on the way to the park his mind had been working overtime on some answers to Kelso's surprisingly difficult questions. He had been working hard, and coming up empty. And so he had concluded that the only way he was going to get any answers was to talk to Jackie. Really talk. About everything they hadn't been saying for months.

He needed some answers from her. Like what really happened with Kelso? Like what had she been thinking giving him an ultimatum? And why wasn't she sleeping? And could she ever forgive him for marrying someone else?

Now she'd been gone for 35 minutes. And he was on beer number four, silently willing her to get back soon. He needed her to shed light on all this. Because really, his answers depended on hers.

AVOIDANCE:

Jackie woke up with Fez's chest in her face, his cologne mingling with his own exotic scent and then rushing to her nose. It was familiar and comforting. It still hadn't been much sleep, but it was the best she'd gotten in a while. She moved her head slightly and saw red hair over Fez's shoulder. She smiled to herself, Fez had never been so lucky. Her and Donna were both hot and in bed with him. She giggled quietly. Extracting herself carefully from Fez's arm she rolled over and swung her feet to the floor. It was late afternoon, she could tell from the organge-ish glow that the sun was pushing through the window's closed blinds. And after washing her face in the bathroom, she came out to find Michael, Steven, and Prince back from their field trip. She smiled at Kelso as he teased her about sleeping with Fez, and leaned down to pet the puppy as it nuzzled against her legs. Braving it, she glanced in Hyde's direction only to be taken by complete and utter surprise. He had a definite expression. It was his "We need to talk" face. And for a moment she couldn't breathe. She felt the panic buzzing in her ears. She was sure her eyes were wide, deer caught in headlights style. And instantly she was deathly afraid of what he had to say.

"Jackie, you sicken me. I can't be around you. You are pathetic."

"Jackie, really, you look like shit. Get over me."

"Jackie, I never really loved you. How could I? You are repulsive."

"Jackie, you do realize this is all your fault, right?"

And the next thing she knew her fight or flight response had taken over. She was all about the flight. She couldn't handle Steven right now, his confrontation or his presence. So she opted to avoid. Making up something about needing fresh air she had bolted from the apartment before Kelso could offer to go with her. And she could have sworn Steven's face said he knew exactly what she was doing.

But she didn't care. He could wait to tell her she was worthless. Avoidance had always been a trick of his, and she had always been a fast learner.


	6. We're gonna go down fightin'

Project Restoration Chapter 6: We're gonna go down fightin'

Author's Note: So very sorry on the delay for this chapter, I had every intention of writing and posting it last night, but well my eyelids got heavy and rewrote the plan. But I also wanted to get the Jackie/Hyde stuff right, which I'm not sure I accomplished, but that can be up to you all. Thanks for reading and reviewing, I value your feedback more than I can express. This chapter the pieces are going to be centered on the J/H confrontation, so I apologize if that bothers anyone. But I figure what comes of their "talk" will impact everyone, so why have Donna chatting about butterflies or something when World War III is going down in the kitchen? At any rate, please keep reviewing, and I hope you enjoy. I'll stop rambling now.

Disclaimer: otNa ineMa…everything is better in pig latin.

HEROES:

As the new kid in a foreign country, Fez had found himself latching on to the group in awe of their American attitudes and their distinct personalities. To a shy kid, who knew so little about this new place, Kelso, Eric, and Hyde had seemed to be everything he wished he was, and it wouldn't be too big of a stretch to say he looked at them as heroes.

He wanted to emulate the ease with which they interacted, never afraid to say out loud whatever they were thinking. He idolized Kelso and the strange finesse he seemed to have when talking to girls. It went beyond being good looking, Kelso had this confidence that every girl would accept his advances. And he was usually proven correct.

Eric had always wowed Fez with his nice guy charm. Everyone liked Eric. Except for Red and Laurie, of course. It was hard not to. He smiled easily, wasn't afraid to feel, and he could make anyone laugh. And well, what Eric shared with Donna, Fez wanted that too.

And there had always been something so irrefutably cool about Steven Hyde that Fez had prayed some of it would rub off on him simply by association. Hyde didn't take shit from anybody. He was honest, no matter the outcome. He lived on his own terms. And he was rebellious, never doing anything just because he was told to. Yet somehow, Fez noticed, he almost always seemed to do the right thing. Even if he was cursing underneath his breath as he did it. What wasn't heroic about that?

But Fez knew not even heroes were perfect. And after holding Jackie earlier, feeling the loneliness and despair just radiate off her fragile, beautiful body, he knew here was the one case Hyde had done everything wrong.

So he was nervous as he stood in the doorway of the kitchen, watching Hyde watch the clock. He wasn't sure if the small pyramid of beer cans on the table in front of his friend would prove to help or hinder his mission. But he had to do it now, regardless.

He walked into the kitchen and sat across from those shaded eyes. Hyde seemed surprised to see him, so Fez noted he had at least enough alcohol in him to alleviate the stoicism of Zen. Perfect.

He waited as Hyde retrieved 2 beers from the fridge. Once he had sat back down, settled in his chair, and they'd each taken a long gulp as a toast, Fez took a deep breath and showed what he came for.

"Hyde, She's a mess."

He was thankful when Hyde didn't ask who, and so he continued without a response.

"She cries a lot. She's not sleeping. She barely eats, and well, the light is missing from her eyes."

Hyde looked at his beer intently, but Fez thought he saw shame flicker across his features.

"I'm not sure how you feel about her anymore, though we all have our suspicions. But I think you know as well as I do, you've got the best shot at fixing this." Fez hoped Hyde could sense his seriousness. "I have always trusted you to do the right thing."

He watched as Hyde's head snapped up, and his expression was surprised. Fez supposed it wasn't something Hyde heard often. But as Fez stood up, finishing his beer and placing it on top the pyramid, his expression grew colder.

"But if you hurt her more, I assure you it won't be pretty." And with that Fez walked out of the room.

Hero or not, for the sake of Jackie, Fez was prepared to kick his ass.

SELF-PRESERVATION:

It was almost completely dark, and her stomach was sore with hunger, by the time Jackie returned from her walk. She hoped some of Donna's sandwiches were left, but with 3 boys, and specifically Fez, around it wasn't safe to count on anything not being eaten.

She also hoped she'd been imagining the look on Steven's face. Deep down she knew she hadn't.

She opened the door tentatively, and walked in to the living room to unleash a sigh of relief. Fez, Michael, and Donna were all sitting on the couch, in the dark, watching TV. Donna smiled at her, Fez scooted down to give her room to join them, and Michael asked gently if she'd had a nice walk. She was genuinely happy for an instant to see them there, no tension hanging over their heads. But as she opened her mouth to respond, her happiness was sucked out of her, leaving her skin cold and her nerves raw.

A gruff, slurred request had come from the kitchen. "Jackie, can I talk to you?"

She closed her eyes and willed herself to breathe normally before looking to see his silhouette against the soft kitchen light. He looked taller somehow. And her stomach's ache was no longer due to hunger.

For a brief moment she thought about running out the door. Since he'd first failed to give her a reason to stay in Point Place she'd been perfecting her survival skills. Since Sam had shown up she'd been committed to self-preservation. And she felt very certain, in this moment, if she followed the man she loved into that kitchen her total destruction would be the outcome.

But for some reason she felt she owed it to them. To her three friends on the couch, waiting in apparent anticipation for her reply. If they were all struggling to save this group, to reconnect to each other, then she and Hyde needed to come to some sort of peace.

So she silently said screw it to self-preservation, nodded her head slightly, and walked towards the light, preparing for her doom.

PASSION:

In the honesty brought out by beer number 8, what he missed most about her was the passion. Not just the physical and sexual passion, though he'd always been a fan of Jackie's, uh, healthy appetite. But more importantly the passion that just made her 95 pounds turn into a tireless force. The passion with which she fought, the passion with which she dreamed.

And he missed the passion she could bring out in him. Because he was Steven Hyde, and no one else had ever done that.

And while he hated that she was so exhausted, and he was worried that she seemed to get smaller and smaller with every day, the thing that upset him most was the loss of that light Fez had been talking about. That light was her passion.

So now, body temperature elevated, fluid and sharp speech difficult, he leaned back against the sink, arms folded across his chest, and watched her sit down, hoping with all his heart that would be what he could give her tonight.

He noticed the thin line of her mouth and the solid setting of her jaw, and cringed as he realized he taught her that. Her hollow eyes were his Zen lessons at work, and he hated himself for that. He'd always advertised the satisfaction of not letting people get to you, but he had somehow forgot to warn her that not-feeling was a lonely way to live.

"So…" she prodded, he knew she wanted to get this over with.

He waited a beat, summoned his confidence, and then started to speak.

"I don't love her."

She just blinked at him.

"Sam. I don't love her." Some where about beer 5 he had decided this straight forward approach was best. Seeing her expression unchanged, he now wasn't so sure.

"Tell me something I don't know."

"I still love you."

The Zen faltered, and he was pretty sure her face said she hadn't known that. And he was amazed at himself that he had gotten it out, apparently the L-word came more freely the more you drank.

"That's interesting."

The damn Zen was back.

"Jackie, I think we need to talk about it. All of it. Why we did the things we did, where we went wrong. Because I love you, and if there is anyway we can try again I need to know that now."

He hit the switch, he saw the mask crumble and the light shine bright. But then he noticed she was trembling, and her eyebrow arched with fury. Well, he'd got her passion.

"Where _we_ went wrong? Why _we_ did things? Steven Hyde you self-righteous bastard! There is no we, it's all you! You put me last, you let me go, you mistrusted and assumed, you married some other girl when you couldn't be bothered to even suggest you would be willing to marry me! All that, all you, that's where things went wrong! And now you have the nerve to tell me you love me, why can you only say it when you've screwed up, Steven? Well it's too little too late. I can't let you back in, I can't just forget and let this all go away. I'm broken here, okay, in to tiny pieces that I don't think can even fit back together. How stupid would I be to come back for more? You aren't going to change, Steven. I gave you my heart, told you with every ounce of sincerity inside me that I loved you. I let you know I was willing to give up everything, everything, to be with you. And yet you couldn't believe that, you took one look at a situation and assumed the worst. What would ever be enough, Steven, to convince you I meant it, that I was yours? If we ever did get married, would you believe me then? Or would one day, after 10 years and 3 kids, would you come home to see our friend Michael was over for a visit and assume that up until you walked in we'd been caught in a sweaty, lusty affair? And if so what would you do, cause you know cheating on me or marrying someone else wouldn't be enough, you'd have to top yourself? Would you screw a woman until she got knocked up? Would you start a whole new family just to make me pay for a sin I didn't commit? Tell me, Steven, what did you expect talking about this now to do, to prove, to fix? Because I didn't know you were stupid, Steven, and you should have known 'I love you' wouldn't be enough for me now when it had never been enough for you."

Hyde was going to bust. He knew he should just let her calm down, he knew "I'm sorry" was his best bet. But he was proud, and he was drunk, and he had a tendency to lose his temper, so his passion exploded and despite his heart screaming, "No, No, No!" he was yelling right back at her.

STORMS:

Donna wasn't the kind of girl to be scared of much. She was independent and smart and could take care of herself. But she'd always had a tiny, and admittedly irrational, fear of storms. She generally thought it was because storms were unpredictable, and she believed in knowing your opponent. It made her uneasy that no matter how strong you were, no matter how prepared, lightening could strike in an instant, leaving the noblest warrior as dust.

Eric was really the only one who knew she felt this way. And he'd never teased her about it. Whenever it was supposed to storm in the night, Eric would sneak over to hold her in her sleep she wouldn't be as afraid. It had stormed twice in Point Place since he'd been gone, and she hadn't been able to sleep either night without his arms around her.

And in this moment she really missed Eric as it was storming right now, literally and metaphorically.

Naturally as soon as Jackie and Hyde had went into the kitchen, she'd motioned for the boys to leave the room. They went into Kelso's bedroom, and she was thankful he had a small TV in there as well. But of course the TV was never turned on as Fez immediately positioned himself at the door, listening closely to hear what was being said. Not that he had to listen too hard once the yelling had started.

Only a few minutes later, Kelso too was crouched at the door, not the Donna could really blame him since his name sure was getting brought up a lot.

Finally, after the screams and shouts had been going on for a half hour without a break Donna lowered herself towards the ground beside them and listened intently to what was being said.

Then the rain had started outside, beating loudly against Kelso's window. Strangely, as if they knew the other three were listening, Jackie and Hyde's volume increased so the words could still be made out. And as thunder began to rumble loudly, and lightening flashed, illuminating the dark room, it only seemed to magnify the drama that was unfolding.

Donna heard as Hyde accused Jackie of stringing him and Kelso along, saying that did nothing if not plant seeds of mistrust.

She heard Jackie counter that if Hyde had had the emotional maturity to let her know where she stood maybe she would have been a little surer a little faster.

Donna cringed as Jackie brought up the nurse.

She trembled as Hyde yelled about forgiveness with more anger and emotion than she'd ever heard from him before.

And she almost began to cry at the hurt in Jackie's voice as she asked why he didn't divorce Sam right away.

And her heart broke for her best friend when Steven Hyde had no answer.

She heard Jackie yell, "Steven, don't you dare touch me."

She heard the crack of a slap across Hyde's face

She heard sobs, and a door slam.

And she wasn't nearly as afraid of the storm outside as she was of the one that had just ended in the kitchen.


	7. never say, die, my darlings

Project Restoration Chapter 7: Never say,"Die," my darlings

Author's Notes: Since I was already running late on 6 I decided to go ahead and write this before posting too. It's getting close to the end now, let's hope I don't mess this stuff up. Thanks for everyone who has been reading, and please, if you like or hate or have suggestions, review. It makes my day. Without further ado, please enjoy Chapter 7.

Disclaimer: Not my show, not my characters. All I own is the arrangement of words, and frankly, that isn't worth much.

GUILT:

As soon as the door slammed, giving a shake to the entire apartment, Kelso was out of the bedroom like a rocket, hoping to catch up to Hyde. He knew his friend was in no shape to drive, and as much as he would have loved to comforted Jackie, having heard how much turmoil he'd brought on between two of the people he cared about most in this world, well he figured consoling her now might do more harm than anything.

He was thankful to see the Cruiser still parked when he made it outside, Hyde had at least the sense not to try and leave with wheels. But he was still worried as he looked to the left and to the right and scanned the parking lot for a brooding figure with curly hair.

When he saw him, he froze. Hyde was across the lot, mostly in shadow, but if Kelso wasn't imagining things, from the light of the lamppost he could see the t-shirt clad shoulders heave up and down quickly. Steven Hyde was crying. And Kelso had no idea what to do about it.

And he was pretty certain Hyde didn't know what to do about it either.

So he crossed the distance between them, slowly. Not wanting to invade Hyde's space too fast, in case Hyde's fist was faster than Kelso's duck.

He heard Hyde clear his throat, and sniff the air defiantly. He watched from behind as the shoulder-shaking stopped and Hyde brushed forcefully at his eyes and cheeks with the back of his hands. He was surprised that he didn't need to announce his presence, as without turning around Hyde spoke to him.

"Kelso, you tell anyone what I was just doing and I will kill you, man."

Kelso gave a small laugh. "Not a word, I swear."

But as he looked at the back of the friend he'd had since he was in diapers, in addition to the sympathy he felt, what struck him most was guilt. He'd foolishly gone after Jackie, knowing her heart was no longer his, and he had cost Hyde something irreplaceable. While he knew at the time he felt justified, Hyde had started in knowing Kelso still had feelings for her, he saw now that they were not the same. And what he lost was his first love. What Hyde lost was his only.

Sure he still loved Jackie deeply. He felt jealous at the idea of her having that future she'd always rambled on about with someone else. He felt the loss of her still, and he regretted so much of what he'd done. But he knew, in his heart, with time he'd love someone else again. Maybe not in the same way, he believed that first loves were special. But he could love without her. He wasn't so sure Hyde had that luxury.

And as he stepped up beside his friend, hands in his pockets, staring at the same nothingness of the night in front of them, he said what he should have said a long time ago, And he hoped Hyde knew how much he meant it.

"Hyde, I'm sorry."

CALCULATIONS:

Eric wasn't bad at math, but he always used a calculator to be sure. And in this case, it was of vital importance for him to know the right numbers. The right numbers were the difference between more empty months without Donna and the hope of going home.

He knew Red would be disappointed he was a quitter. Kitty might even throw out an "I told you so" in between her relieved tears. But Eric thought a semester would be enough of the experience, and if his calculations were correct he could take a year to work, and then afford a state college on his own.

And so he could return to Donna.

That was priceless.

He would miss teaching these kids, but he could give them al his address so they could keep in touch.

And he would probably hate working the long hours at a crappy job it would take to save up what the calculator told him he needed to. But it was possible. And working a job you hated while with the woman you loved, seemed better than loving your job without her.

He was being rash. He knew he'd need to talk this out with the program. With his parents. Even with Donna. But it was the first night since he'd been in Africa that he didn't want to fall into bed and just sleep to make the next day come faster, he wanted to think this through and hold on to the hope.

He could be back in Point Place in 2 months. He could be teaching in a few years. He could be with Donna, loving her, for the rest of his life.

If his calculations were correct.

HUGS:

As a little girl, hugs could fix anything. If she fell down roller-skating and skinned her knee, a hug from her dad could make everything fine.

As she got older, the magic was shaken, but it was still there. When her parents were fighting, when her dad lost his job, when her mom up and left, Eric's hugs had gotten her through. Maybe it was no longer fixing things, but those hugs certainly made the hurt less.

But as Donna looked at the smaller girl, crying uncontrollably while pressed to her side, she was fully aware that in this case her hugs weren't going to do anything to help. Jackie's hurt was greater than the magic of a hug could be.

And that was sad.

Jackie's sobs, that shook her whole body violently, had not even slowed in the slightest in the hour since Hyde had rushed out. At this rate, she had no idea how the tears were still coming. She was honestly amazed someone so small could have any left.

Fez sat on the other side of their friend, he was holding Jackie's hands in his own, rubbing them with his thumb, trying to soothe her too. Occasionally he would glance at her, and they would share a look over Jackie's head.

The look said, "I have no idea how to help this."

So Donna did the only thing she knew. She hugged Jackie with everything she had, trying to take a little of the pain herself so that Jackie's suffering would be a little less. She hugged her for what felt like hours, until the sobbing finally stopped and Jackie fell into the hands of sleep.

HAPPINESS:

When Jackie woke after a dreamless sleep she was all alone on the couch. The clock told her it was 2am so she guessed Donna and Fez had gone to bed thinking she'd be out for the night. Against her better judgment, she wondered if Steven was back, and she hoped he was if for no other reason than he shouldn't have been driving for all the beer he had.

She started to sit up, only to notice two eyes staring up at her. Michael was sitting on the floor, he looked tired and like he'd been waiting a quite a while for her to wake.

"Michael?" she was hoping nothing was wrong, that Steven hadn't landed himself in prison or the hospital. That everything was okay.

"How you doing, Jackie?" his voice expressed concern for her so she took that to mean her idiot ex-boyfriend was okay.

"Pretty horrible, honestly." She didn't have the energy to lie this time.

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense." He looked down at his hands a moment, before moving his eyes up to lock into hers. Jackie didn't know why he looked so sad.

"Jackie, I'm sorry."

"Michael, you don't need to apologize for him."

"I'm not, I'm apologizing for me. For pushing at you, knowing you hadn't felt that way about me in a long time. For not taking no for an answer. I know he should have trusted you more, but he was right not to trust me, and I'm sorry for causing the situation that led to all this hurt."

She was moved. Michael rarely spoke to her this way anymore. This was his intimate voice, the one he broke out when things were important. She'd always loved this voice best.

"You're right, Michael, he should have trusted me more. But I appreciate hearing this, I do."

He smiled at her, and she gave him the biggest she could back.

"Jackie, he really loves you."

"Love isn't always enough."

"True, but it's worth more on its own than everything else together. He loves you, and he's sorry."

"But he's also proud, stubborn, unwilling to change. None of that adds up to a promising reconstruction."

"I think he can change. I think maybe he already has."

Jackie couldn't help but look at him suspiciously, "Why are you pleading his case?"

"Because I want you to be happy. I want him to be happy. I don't want to feel like it's my fault that neither of you are with the person you love most. I want things to be good again, for all of us."

Jackie nodded slightly. She could still feel every bit of the hurt and anger of the earlier fight lingering over her. But Michael had a point. She wanted to be happy.

PATIENCE:

Fez lay in bed completely still. He'd gotten so sleep there only on his promise that he wouldn't move. Donna had said he'd proven with the nap that he could sleep like a gentlemen, so he better not revert to being a perv now. She'd sworn if she woke up to find him touching her in any way, well she'd make sure he was in pain for a long time.

And he really, really believed her.

Hyde had come in about an hour later, Prince at his heels. The dog liked him, and at that moment Fez thought it might be because they had a lot in common.

Fez had glared at him, but as Hyde made himself as comfortable as he could on the floor he had said, "This isn't over, Fez. So you can't kill me yet." While Fez felt slightly hopeful that Hyde had a plan to fix the bigger mess he'd made, he continued to glare at the shape in the dark that was his best friend until he heard it softly start to snore.

Moving as little as possible, he shifted to stare at the ceiling, patiently waiting for sleep to come.

He wasn't sure what he'd thought would happen if they came on this trip. Maybe he'd been more naïve than ever before to think they could salvage all that they were losing.

Today had been better. Napping with the girls, watching TV with Kelso and Donna, the breakfast that morning that felt so long ago, these had been moments that were precious. Instants when they all interacted with ease and comfort and unspoken love. But then he thought to Jackie's face as she cried out every bit of moisture in her body, and he wondered how frequently those moments of normalcy would come when her and Hyde could continue to hurt each other so much.

If there was any way to know they'd all be okay, he could be patient. He could wait as long as necessary if there was a guarantee.

But the thought that he'd never be able to hang out with both Jackie and Hyde without being flooded with tears drained all the patience out of him and he wanted to lunge from that bed and knock some sense into the son of a bitch sleeping a few feet away.

But he didn't.

Because he remembered Patience was a virtue; damn Bible-thumping host parents.


	8. we've gotta give it our best shot

Project Restoration Chapter 8: We've gotta give it our best shot

Author's Note: Well, this was the hardest chapter yet. I rewrote each section at least 3 times I think. So I hope you enjoy it, but if not that's okay...so long as you don't throw rocks at me. 'Cause ow. At any rate thanks to all of you who keep reading this, and those of you who have commented, you are now my favoritist people ever...seriously, if I take over the world, I'm hooking you up. At any rate, enjoy!

Disclaimer: It's probably a good thing none of this is mine or the show would be all angsty….and I'm wordy, so probably a lot longer than a half hour too.

HANGOVERS:

Hyde woke with a splitting headache. A headache that told him to never drink again. And to avoid sunlight, dairy,and anything louder than a whisper, for the rest of the day. He rarely got hangovers. When he did it was usually not so much from drinking as from getting emotional while he was drunk.

He had been hungover a lot in Vegas.

He looked to see the time and was surprised it was still early. His fight with Jackie had been exhausting. His talk with Kelso had been draining. Yet here he was, wide awake, and it wasn't even 8am yet.

He noticed Fez was no longer in bed. He was relieved. He didn't want to face the disappointment on his friend's face. He knew he had messed up, and he already felt bad enough about it. The reconciliation he'd hoped for had been blown to burning bits.

Over the rumpled mess of blankets Hyde could see Donna. He hadn't talked to her much lately, he didn't know what to say. It wasn't like "Sorry I broke your best friend's heart. Sorry my best friend broke yours," was going to make her feel any better. But he wanted to talk to her now. To see how she was doing and to maybe get some insight into what was going on with Jackie. Donna hadn't always understood him, but she'd always tried. And he felt like he mightbenefit from her efforts right about now. Who knows, maybe she would even feel sorry for him

As if on cue, he heard Donna stretch and sigh, the starting sounds of waking up. He waited quietly as she opened her eyes and spread out a little on the bed, gradually becoming alert. Finally, she sat up a little and noticed him.

"Morning, dumbass." He chuckled, had he really been foolish enough to think Donna was going to show him any sympathy? Temporary insanity must have paid a visit.

"Morning. You want me dead too?" Donna gave a little giggle.

"Fez doesn't _want_ you dead. He'd miss you too much. But he would rather you be dead than stupid. And you've been stupid a lot lately."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Maybe she wasn't going to try and understand him this time.

"I didn't mean for things to get this out of control. And last night especially, my intent was not to hurt her more. You know that I would never intentionally hurt her."

"Do I?" Donna's eyebrow perked up skeptically. "I think marrying a woman you don't love when you were so reluctant to marry Jackie is a lot of things, including spiteful."

"I was drunk."

"That doesn't erase the blame, Hyde. You of all people should know that."

"I want to be with her. I just don't know how."

"Not being married might help."

"Point taken."

"Listen, Hyde, you've been my friend forever and that's never going to change. If I cut people out of my life based on stupidity, I think I'd be all alone. And as much as I love Jackie I know she isn't without fault in this. But at the end of the day what she did was kid's play in comparison. And it's gonna take a lot more than a drunken admission of love to make things okay."

"Do you think I still have a chance?"

"Hyde, she cried for hours last night. Hours. You don't waste that much time crying over a man that hasn't got a chance. She hurts this bad because she loves you so much. When she stops crying, well, that's when you worry."

He gave a nod andsmiled slightlyat her, truly grateful. She had just given him everything he needed, well everything but some aspirin for the hangover.

ESTIMATION:

Michael Kelso was familiar with the principle of estimating. He'd been underestimated his entire life. And he had a tendancy to overestimate when it came to the level ofpossible successwith his masterplans. People estimated all the time and it was only natural. There were few things in life that were certain.

So as he walked with Prince around his neighborhood, Fez walking quietly at his other side, he tried to estimate how much it would hurt when his friends left and how much more he'd miss them now, after the emotional roller coaster of the last few days. He didn't think it was possible to overestimate on this one. He was going to miss them a lot.

He looked over at Fez, who also seemed deep in thought, and wondered when they had gotten to be so serious. He asked Fez if heknew andhad tolaugh at the response.

"When everyone else went flippin' crazy."

That seemed about right.

"How bad had things been, back in Point Place?"He was asking foran honest estimate of the total damage.

"Horrible."

Hmm, just what he had feared.

Kelsoquickly estimated how long it would take for Brooke to forgive him for making the decision without her. He decided 5-6 months tops. She'd just have to understand.

"Fez, I think I'm going to move back."

His friend stopped and just stared at him. After a few steps, realizing Fez was no longer beside him, he looked back at the shocked face.

"Really, Kelso?" He noticed the hopeful lift in Fez's voice.

Kelso shrugged and smiled. "Yeah. I need you guys, and I think from the sound of things, you guys kinda need me too."

Fez was beaming. "Oh, thank God. I thought I was going to have to handle those nutjobs alone."

Then Prince began to bark impatiently, wanting to keep walking. Quicklythe conversationturned to deciding the best Batman villain, a topic more their style.

But in the back of his mind, as he tried to estimate the value of the choice he'd just made, Kelso thought it would rank pretty high on his "Most Important Decisions of My Life" list.

REDEMPTION:

After hearing Kelso leave to take the dog out, Jackie opened her eyes, sick of faking sleep. Stopping by the bathroom to make sure she didn't look scary, she quickly left the apartment before any curly-haired boys could crossher path.

She started walking, avoiding thought, and though she hadn't really planned it, her feet seemed to know exactly where to take her.

It was a small church a few blocks away, she had passed the building on her walk the day before.It was quaint,looked as if ithad been there for ages. White steeple thrusting confidently into the sky. She was relieved to find it empty.

She wasn't really religious. She liked Pastor Dave alright and had gone to service with the Forman family and the rest of the gang occasionally (when you mooched off a family as much as they all did off the Formans you did what was necessary to keep them happy, and by them she meant Kitty,), but when it came down to it she wasn't sure what she believed. And she didn't know where to start to find out, sinceher parents had seemed to operate on the idea that God took bribes, so she usually just didn't mess with it.

The lamps had been turned off, leaving only sunlight to filter in from the windows. She couldn't tell what type of church itwas, but she didn't think it really mattered. As she sat in a pew towards the middle she thought back to the last time she'd heard Pastor Dave speak. He'd said something she really liked at the time.He claimed it wasn't their jobas peopleto be perfect, butit was their job to try. And through Redemption, that became enough.

As with everything else these days, that made her think of Steven.

Steven was sorry. She felt that.

Steven loved her. She believed that.

But Steven wasn't perfect. She knew that.

Then again, though, neither was she.

Maybe if they were both willing to try? Maybe if they could both forgive?

Maybe thenthey could start over?

She wasn't sure if that exactly was what Pastor Dave had had in mind, but to her, **that **felt like Redemption. So she got up to leave feeling more satisfied than she ever had before when exiting a church, and made her way back to the apartment.

SURPRISES:

She had always had bad luck with surprises.

"Surprise! Hey Donna, your boyfriend killed your cat!"

"Surprise! Hey Donna, your mom is gone!"

"Surprise! You are getting married without a groom, Donna!"

"Surprise! I'm moving to Africa, Donna, see you later!"

She had learned in her 20 years of life that while predictability was a lot less exciting, it was a lot safer than surprises.

But today had been a little different. It had been a nice surprise when, while pouring a bowl of cereal, a small, plastic toy had fallen out into her breakfast. Granted as a young woman she really had no need for a tiny tie-dye whistle, but all the same it had made her smile.

And she had been pleasantly surprised, and truly overjoyed, when Fez began shouting as soon as he entered the apartment, "Kelso's coming home, Kelso's coming home!"

All the same though, as she celebrated the good news in a circle with the boys, she wasn't ready to change her stance on surprises.

But then the phone rang.

Fez, who could be described as nothing else but giddy, bounced to answer it.

Donna was genuinely surprised when she heard Fez squeal, "ERIC! My good friend it is so nice to hear from you!" She knew he had said he would call, but she thought it would be a week or so. Well surprises were doing good by her today.

She waited, somewhat impatiently, for her turn to talk, and finally Hyde handed her the phone.

"Hey." His voice sounded better than anything.

"Hey."

"Look Donna, I can't talk long, but I have a surprise for you."

Donna felt something fall to the pit of her stomach. What could he have to say? It couldn't be good, could it? What if he had malaria? What if hehad fallen in love over night and was never coming home?Ugh, this is why she hated surprises-- they sucked.

"I'm coming home early. Like in two months early."

Donna remained silent, letting his words hang in the air, as if her speaking would erase any truth behind them. Her reverie was broken though asat that momentshe heard her best friend charge in, and she peered out of the kitchenjust in time to seeJackie march straight up to Hyde.

"Steven, I love you, and we need to figure this out."

Donna's eyes grew wide, andas she heard Eric calling her name over the phone, still waiting for her response, she thought to herself she just might owe whoever was in charge of surprises an apology.


	9. cause we've always had eachother

Project Restoration Chapter 9: 'Cause we've always had each other

Author's Note: This is it y'all, down to the last two chapters. I'm so happy so many have said they like this story. The next chapter is more like an epilogue so this is the end of the fateful trip to Chicago. Feedback is not only appreciated, but adored. Enjoy everyone.

Disclaimer: Of course they aren't mine, I've got a little Irish in me but I'm not quite that lucky.

DEEP BREATHES

In the whirlwind of Jackie's entrance, and amidst the shock of what he thought he had just heard, Fez must have forgotten to breathe. But as he looked at the faces of his friends, all eyes wide in disbelief, he started to remember oxygen was a good thing. So he took a much needed breath. Deep breath in…exhale out. Deep breath in…exhale out.

Fez breathed with relief. There was light at the end of the tunnel. Of course things weren't quite perfect. Kelso still had to figure things out to make his move a reality. Eric would still be gone for two more months. And well Jackie and Hyde had a lot of talking to do, which always meant there was a danger of angry voices. Both of them certainly had a temper.

But things were progressing quite nicely. In a short matter of time things had begun to change from dismal to hopeful. Maybe this trip had not been a sign of his naivety as much as his genius.

He watched as Kelso left to go talk to Brooke for a while. And Jackie and Hyde went to the bedroom to have their discussion. And the moment Donna hung up the call from Africa, she called Mrs. Forman, eager to begin planning something special for Eric's return.

So Fez was left to sit on the couch alone.

Smiling.

Taking deep, satisfied breathes.

QUITTING:

Eric had heard that quitters never win, but in this moment he frankly thought that just wasn't true.

He had quit.And that meanthe was going home. To Donna. That sure felt like winning to him.

He'd called home first to talk it over with Kitty. She reacted much like he knew she would. Crying, laughing, shouting, "I knew you needed your mommy!"

Red had called him a quitting dumbass, but specified, in a rare moment of fatherly love, that Eric was a quitting dumbass he'd be glad to have home…the garage needed to be cleaned.

And just before calling Kelso's, Eric had talked it over with the coordinator of the program. Apparently this was something that happened often, 20 was apparently awfully young to be away from home for so long. Most the people who stayed the full year were a little older, and had brought a spouse with them. The man had told Eric he'd been doing a good job, that the program would miss him but the kids would be in good hands. He said Eric shouldn't look at it as quitting, but simply as "ending a stage of his development."

Eric had appreciated the euphemism, but honestly had no problem calling it quitting.

DEALS:

Jackie had always been the kind of girl who could recognize and appreciate a good deal. Buy one pair of fantastically gorgeous shoes, get another pair free. Bring home at least 4 A's on her report card, get diamond earrings. Turn 16, get a brand new Mustang. And good deals had always made her happy.

This deal was different though. There were no fancy and expensive rewards involved. The task required was more difficult than simply having a birthday or getting good grades. She was about to offer Steven herself, her love, her loyalty. All in exchange for him and his.

She hoped he thought it was a good deal.

Because she knew it would make her happy.

As they sat on the bed, Steven's reaction still reflecting shock and awe, she put on her game face. She'd haggle if she had to. She was here to make a deal.

"Steven?" He blinked hard and then looked at her, finally looking focused enough to really talk. "I meant it, I love you. And I'm sorry for last night. I was angry and hurt and that was all that I could show you. But I don't want to be angry anymore. And I want to let the hurt heal. And I think I need you to make that happen. I want to fix us."

He had taken off his glasses so she could see every shadow playing in his eyes. She thought she recognized some as gratitude and relief. So she continued.

"I think the first step is for you to get divorced. Nothing can happen between us until that is out of the way. I've been cheated on too many times to let myself be _that_ woman. And I love you too much to let you be _that_ man. And when things do start, we need to take them slow. I know I can't push so hard. And we have to establish trust. Michael will always be my friend. But you will always have my heart, and I hope that can be alright with you."

He stared at her, adoration his only expression now. So she cupped his cheek, kissed his forehead, and gave him a genuine, sparkling, Jackie smile. "Deal?"

"Deal."

GOODBYES:

Donna knew goodbyes could get messy. And she hated mess and mush as much as most guys would. But the weekend had already wreaked emotional havoc on all of them, why not risk the mess to say goodbye to her good friend.

Kelso had gotten back from Brooke's a few moments before, and the Vista Cruiser was already packed for the drive to Point Place. Hyde had gone to give Kelso a handshake but had been pulled into a ferocious hug instead. They patted each other's backs to make it more manly, but Donna giggled at the two boys failing miserably at hiding their emotions. Then Fez had hugged Kelso, thanked him for the tootsie rolls, and ordered him to move home quickly, before the new season of Charlie's Angels started.

And Jackie had tears in her eyes as she clung to him, kissed his cheek with fondness, and told him too to hurry home, doofus. Her bossy tone making Kelso beam.

Donna hung back a second, letting the others make there way out and to the car. Then she turned to him.

"Thanks, you know. For everything. Letting us stay here, putting up with the drama, the beer and the sundaes. Really. And we do need you in that basement. As soon as possible." She laughed a little, "Everything's gone to shambles without our King."

He laughed with her, his contagious laugh that had gotten them all through heartaches and tragedies without losing their sense of humor. And they hugged. It was something that, for as good as friends as they had always been, they had rarely done. Yet it felt natural.

Up until she felt his hand on her ass.

"Kelso!" She pulled away and slapped his arm, playfully, but still hard enough to make him give an "ow."

"Bye Pinciotti, you tease."

"Bye Moron."

ROADS:

They were on the road home after what had felt like forever away. The silence that had been his haven on the way was thankfully no more. Jackie and Fez were talking in the back at great length about who was hotter: Mary Ann, Ginger, or Jackie. Of course, Jackie maintained she was the hottest. But that based on the glamour of being a movie star, Ginger was a close second. Fez pointed out that he wasn't sure, there was something strangely alluring about the wholesome girl-next-door in pigtails. Hyde had pretended to be annoyed, but couldn't help himself. He eventually piped in, giving Jackie his vote, and receiving a bright smile in the rearview mirror that took his breath away.

Donna was singing along with the radio, staring out the window. She seemed relaxed and at ease, and Hyde was glad. Donna and Forman completed each other, he was happy for her sake as much as his own that Eric would be coming home.

And he looked out at the highway stretching for miles in front of him, thinking of all the crap they'd had to travel through to get to this point, this moment where everything felt as if it would be okay.

It had been a long, hard road. Hurt he didn't know he could feel and tears had hadn't thought he could shed had littered the way.

But it had been worth it.

PUPPIES:

Kelso watched the back of the Cruiser until it turned out of sight before heading back in to his apartment. It seemed bigger now, and sadly empty. The home-y feel had vanished with that Wisconsin liscense plate. He sat on his couch, thankful for Prince, as the puppy jumped up beside him and nestled in.

He loved puppies because they weren't always bright, but they were loyal. They sometimes made a mess, but their energy was infectious. Without words a puppy knew what to do to make things a little better. He loved puppies because he could understand the sentiment of "man's best friend."

And because he could relate. And he hoped his friends saw him in that kind of light, minus the excessive hair and fleas and all that.

"Well, Prince, it's just you and me again, buddy. What do you want to do?"

He looked down at the dogs dark eyes, glistening playfully as the tail began to wag. He laughed.

"You want to play? Is that what you want, you wan to play?" The puppy bounded off the couch and began to jump excitedly at his feet. Moving from the couch to the floor he began to bat at the dog's paws, giggling as Prince batted back, barking with delight.

And they played like that for quite a while, Kelso laughing and rolling all around.

In this moment he couldn't think of a single reason not to be happy.


	10. and that's always been enough

Project Restoration Chapter 10: and that's always been enough

Author's Note: Last Chapter. **tear** I was seriously tempted to re-angst everything up so this would not be the end, but alas, I've resigned myself to it being over. I've got a couple of other pieces I'm putting up, so please give them a try. I hope you like this ending. The last few lines are kinda sappy, but I liked 'em that way. I've really loved getting your feedback, so please don't hesitate to let me know what you think of this, good or bad. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: You can't always get what you want. So unfortunately, neither the show nor the characters are mine.

BASEMENT:

Eric had gotten off that plane wanting to get to his basement as quickly as possible.

Donna had sadly had to work, and his mom was cooking an enormous dinner, so Red picked him up, awkward hug and all.

But as they arrived home, to an empty kitchen, Eric never made it to the basement that night. Donna and Kitty really had both been at home finishing up the details of the Welcome Back surprise party that was waiting for him on the other side of the swinging door.

Everyone had been there. Well, everyone but Kelso who was in Chicago for another day, tying up loose ends. But even he had called so Fez could hold up the phone for him to yell, "Surprise!"

And Eric had hugged his mother to him as she cried happy tears. He had kissed Donna with the passion of months worth of missing her. He had given Red back his knife, and shook his father's hand like a man. He had stayed up at the party, telling his stories and showing his pictures, until yawns of exhaustion called him to bed.

So when he woke in the morning, after his mother's delicious breakfast and some mild banter with Laurie who'd returned for his party, he finally made it down to the basement.

And he thanked God it looked the same.

And jumping over the back his couch, he turned the TV on and settled in his spot, a huge smile never leaving his face.

It sure was good to be home.

HELLOS:

Donna had felt a little nervous about Eric's return. She had wanted the party to be perfect and wanted the moment he saw her to be magic. She tried to think of something cool to say, nothing came to mind. She tried to find the right look to give, but everything seemed lame. A simple "Hello" wouldn't be enough, so she searched her mind frantically. But sadly she still had no idea what she was going to do as they all crouched in the living room, in the dark, listening as Red talked a little louder than necessary coming through the sliding door to give them a cue. Suddenly, Eric came through the door and everyone jumped up in unison. Eric laughed and immediately went to hug Kitty who had been stationed right beside Red's chair. But then his eyes had caught hers, and everyone seemed to move out of the way as Eric crossed the room in slow motion. And as he reached her, standing beside the bar, mouth beginning to open to speak words she didn't know, he crushed his lips against hers, pulling her into him with a mind-blowing kiss.

They kissed for what felt like ages. Until finally Hyde yelled, "Get a room!" and they broke apart laughing. And arms wrapped around each other, Eric went on to greet his other guests.

And she never got a chance to say anything magical, not even a hello.

Now she bounded down the stairs excitedly, not able to get to the basement fast enough.

Opening the door she found him, sitting on the couch, as if he'd never left. And her heart felt like it could burst. He beamed at her brightly, but before he could say even say "Hello" her mouth was over his in a fierce kiss.

Actions speak louder than words anyway.

DIVORCE:

Most people are probably at least a little upset when they get a divorce, some even turning to alcohol to drink away their sorrow, their loss, their sense of failure or anger or betrayal. Not Steven Hyde. Oh, he had stopped by the bar on his way back from his lawyer's office all right. But his drink was a celebration. This just might have been the happiest day of his young 20 years.

It helped that Sam had taken it well. She had confessed that she honestly wasn't that surprised. And she was gone two days after they returned from Chicago. While he'd have been eager to pick up things with Jackie right then, she insisted they wait until everything was final. She would be no man's mistress. And so they hadn't shared a single touch in the past 2 months. Instead they'd just had longing glances and flirtatious bickering, as they each silently counted down the days until his divorce was official.

After his beer, which he consumed in a blissful blur, he'd hurried home even though he knew she wouldn't be there for hours. He sat in his chair, talking with Eric and Donna, playfully teasing Fez when he joined them in the basement, hoping that time would pass more quickly. After an afternoon that seemed like an eternity, he heard footsteps upstairs. His heart quickened its pace as he heart the door open and the sound of heels clicked down the stairs. He was afraid to look at first, it might only be Kitty, but when he smelled the familiar perfume he knew it was her. He got up, still without looking behind him, and pulled two Popsicles from the Deep Freeze. Finally turning around, he watched as she reached the bottom step. Her eyes looked at him, hopeful, loving. And he smirked at her coyly.

"You know," he said to the entire group, "it really isn't fair that I was the first one married **and** the first one divorced. The rest of you have so much potential, would you quit making me do all the work. I'm supposed to be the lazy one"

He smiled as he heard her squeal with delight. And her arms were around his neck in mere seconds. Her face was buried in his neck and he thought he might have felt the wetness of tears. She pulled back to look at him.

"Really? It's over?"

He nodded. And she placed a sweet and simple kiss on his lips. Then taking his hand, she led him to his chair and took one of the two Popsicles and seated herself on his lap.

He watched her happily watch TV, their hands still clasped together.

He never thought divorce could feel this good.

ENERGY:

Jackie had always told people the key to her many successes had always been her indescribable beauty. And while, she believed her looks had helped tremendously, she knew deep down her energy was the real secret behind the force that was Jackie Burkhart.

She was tireless when she wanted something. Nothing could slow her down when she was motivated. And after the Chicago trip she'd been brought back, full recovery, and they all seemed to marvel at the new burst of energy their friend had become.

She'd quickly set out to find a job, using her winning smile to make up for lack of experience and enlisting her authoritative voice to overshadow her young age. Success was inevitable and in only a few weeks she had been added as a field reporter for the highest ranked local news station. Within a month that station had been so impressed with her hard work, as well as with the ratings increase due to her obvious beauty, they had begun to allow her to fill in as anchor when the regulars were out sick or on vacation. It was only a matter of time before she'd be on in primetime, dazzling Wisconsin viewers with her charm and wit. Things were looking up for Jackie Burkhart and she couldn't help but contribute it to her positive energy.

She'd been working a lot lately, trying to stay busy so she didn't cave and run right into Steven's arms before he was available. She knew some may think she was being silly, Sam was gone and that was the important thing. But she wanted to know it was completely over, that the whole ordeal was behind them, before she let herself become completely attached again. It was getting harder and harder though. So when Steven had told her at Eric's party that his lawyer had called earlier that day and all that that implied, well she had been relieved beyond words. Finally, her life was starting.

So she walked down to the basement with all of her energy devoted to hoping it was done and she'd looked at him, by the freezer, willing some sort of confirmation.

And when she knew it was true her energy propelled her into his arms seemingly faster than the speed of light. And all she wanted was to stay right there forever.

And while she meant it when she said they needed to take things slow, she had to admit she could hardly wait to show him what else all her energy could do.

HOMECOMING:

Traffic had been crap. Betsy had been cranky. Prince had been antsy. And Brooke had still managed to sleep the whole way. The car ride from Chicago had been horrible for Kelso, and if he hadn't had the ability to remind himself it was all so he could go home, he might have given up and turned around. But he **was** going home. And that made it all worth it.

He was excited. Last night he had gotten to talk on the phone to everyone while they partied at the Forman's. Eric was finally home. Hyde thought his divorce was going through. Jackie's job was doing amazing. Donna could barely contain her happiness. And Fez had found that the only thing in the world better than chocolate itself was chocolate covered peanut butter and so his excitement was unsurpassable. He'd be home soon, able to make his way to the Forman's, grab a coke, and watch some sitcom with his best friends. His life was good.

Brooke had taken it all better than he'd thought. She agreed that Betsy needed both her parents around. And while she had no real preference on where they raised the child, she saw that Kelso obviously did. So they'd found a three bedroom apartment not far from Fez and Jackie. He was going to start going to school again, a veterinary program. And in the months it had taken to get everything squared away he had gotten to be right beside her when Betsy took those first steps.

As he pulled the car in, gently woke Brooke up, and proceeded to get his daughter out of the car, he felt so anxious to go over and see all his friends. So as soon as everyone was safely inside he was out the door again, calling to Betsy that he loved her and for Brooke not to wait up. He didn't even bother to take the car, he just bolted towards the basement.

Eager to celebrate his own homecoming.

RESTORATION:

Fez had always loved the idea of taking something old, worn, tired, and making it live and breathe again, beautiful. Like a fresh coat of paint on a long-lived-in house, or a nice wash and wax for the car after a long winter of mud and snow. There was much to be said for not giving up on something, but rather figuring out what's broken and fix it. Good as new. Maybe better.

And that's how he felt about his friends, sitting in the basement right now.

Kelso had burst in about an hour before, immediately grabbing everyone else's attention.

"Eric, is your mom home? Old Lady Wilson's german shepherd attacked me." Fez had felt bad, but he had to stifle his laughter. Kelso's right pants leg was missing a chunk of fabric and he could see a little bit of blood smudged on his friend's skinng leg. Apparently Kelso had decided to run over, and taking a short cut through some back yards had encountered Merci, short for Merciless, in a confrontational way. Eric too looked as if he was keeping some laughter in, but lead Kelso upstairs for Kitty to bandage. And when they come back the six of them had laughed as Kelso explained in greater detail just how the incident had happened.

Now they were all settled into a familiar routine. Jackie sat on Hyde's lap, his arm loosely circling her tiny waist, the fingers of their hands interlocked lovingly. Eric sat on the one end of the couch, arm on the back around Donna, who sat beside him with her legs crossed and her smile wide. Kelso was next to her, wearing a pair of Eric's pajama pants, mesmerized by the television and happily eating a Popsicle.

And Fez was in his chair. Happier than he could describe.

Randy had stopped by before, but seeing the whole gang together, seats all taken, he'd excused himself after about a half hour and Fez almost felt bad for him. Almost.

And Fez decided whoever once said, "if you love something let it go," was way off. If you love something, fight for it. Work at it, argue with it, change plans and swallow pride. Do whatever it takes until whatever was lost is restored. That's what you do when you love something.

And Fez smiled. That's what they all had done.


End file.
